Politicians For Sale: All Bidders Welcome
áFor Sale: All levels of American Government. Cost depends on what buyer wants.
Protect your interests even at otherÆs expense by spending money where it counts. On politicians! With a big election coming up nowÆs the time to be thinking about protecting that pile of gold, and thereÆs no better way than favorable treatment from your very own politician. Just consider some recent successes:
HMO reform died on the table after insurance companies flexed their money muscle.
Gun reform got so many holes shot in it by the NRA and gun manufacturers, you’d think it was some new kind of cheese.
The estate tax is on the way to being repealed even though it mainly benefits the richest two percent of estates. Talk about buying influence!
These are just a few recent examples at the national level. Everyday Big Money compromises public interest in states and towns like yours. All it takes is a few checks sent to the right places, bundled together with a few of your friends. You might even get your picture taken with someone famous!
But why think small when you could buy a stay in the beautiful Lincoln Bedroom in the very heart of Washington D.C.? Or imagine a local congressman, even a senator, taking your call on the spot — what a story for the golfing buddies!
Got a corporate interest to protect? Just look at how Big Money protected computer companies from costly class-action lawsuits stemming from Y2K. Angry consumers have no choice but to go along, even though the problem easily could have been corrected years ago!
No guarantees of course, but corporate interests are well protected with the Republicans controlling Congress and Big Bill in the White House. Washington has a big For Sale sign hung over it.
Big Money has ways of twisting legislation to protect its interests — your interests! If an unfavorable bill is introduced in Congress or a statehouse, it can be “killed in committee.” This aptly named figure of speech refers to the practice of stalling or changing legislation so that it dies behind the scenes.
If that doesnÆt work, Big Money politicians will use tactics like holding up debate and adding senseless amendments. If the legislation gets to a full vote in an unfavorable form, Big Money spreads around a bunch of cash to buy votes. If the legislation passes anyway, thereÆs always the governor or president to stop it from becoming law.
And if needed, Big Money will turn to the airwaves, like those “Harry and Louise” commercials bought by HMOs — who turned healthcare into the same scary vision that was used in the commercials to scare the public. Now instead of Clintoncare thereÆs Corporate care!
But Big Money doesnÆt just stop legislation, it makes legislation. Big Money sits in when politicians get together to write laws, and sometimes Big Money even writes laws for the politicians, saving them the burden of doing their jobs.
There are so many ways to buy influence and favoritism from politicians: give candidates (preferably safe incumbents) campaign money hire their friends and relatives: fly them around on private jets and ride them around in limousines: get your friends, neighbors and employees to give them money: give money to PAC organizations, who give it to politicians: give money to the political parties: give hard-money, soft-money, drug money, any money. Just keep giving.
In return you get a government that protects your interests. And donÆt worry about the system changing anytime soon. Even though voters say they want campaign finance reform, they have no idea what that means. And the politicians arenÆt likely to agree on anything; almost all of them feed at the money trough. The ones who donÆt are pushed aside by the stampeding herd.
So donÆt miss out on this sale. ThereÆs a big election coming up and Big Money just hollered, “Here piggies!””